SUNY Old Westbury Celebrates Women's History Month with a: "Soft Girl Panel"

On March 14, the Campus Activities Board (CAB) held a “Soft Girl Era,” panel for women’s history month. The panel featured three guests, SUNY Old Westbury’s first lady Frenita Combs-Sams, pro-makeup artist and founder of Can’t Stop My Pretty LLC Whitney Rae Alexander, and CEO of Natural GemZ Beth Zaid Zilerion. 

The three panelists discussed the soft girl era trend on social media. The trend, according to Glamour, is indebted to Nigerian social media influencers. They originally coined the term to describe wearing your most comfortable clothes and prioritizing your wellbeing, and an easier life. 

Mrs. Combs-Sams said that she’s currently embracing her soft girl era. She defined the soft girl era as, “a time when you’re pouring into yourself.” Mrs. Combs-Sams pours into herself by getting her hair and nails done, getting massages, and going on vacations with friends or family when she can. 

Mrs. Combs-Sams is a career educator and two-time graduate of Florida A&M University, she also attended Vanderbilt University’s Peabody College. She began her professional career as a high school counselor in the Palm Beach County School District. There, she counseled students, assisted with academic success, and provided college admissions guidance. 

To Zilerion, entering her soft girl era means, “basking in my divine femininity.” Zilerion likes to start her mornings off slow. Every morning she tries to get in a workout and her skincare routine. To maintain her wellbeing, Zilerion goes to therapy. She said talking to friends is helpful and important, but it’s important to use outside sources as well, like a therapist. Zilerion explained that you have to make sure “you’re giving as much as you’re getting,” and to not overburden your friends.  

Zilerion is the CEO and founder of a hair and skincare brand that uses natural ingredients. On top of running a business, Zilerion is also an early childhood educator and mother.

Alexander said that to her, a soft girl era means a slow girl era or slowing down, and making sure to take care of yourself. Alexander said growing up she struggled with her self esteem, she didn’t always feel beautiful because of how tall and how dark her complexion was. “I choose to see myself as a baddie,” Alexander said. It took her a while to walk into it, but what helps her prioritize her wellbeing and maintain her “baddie” mindset is working out and taking nature walks. 

Outside of being a “baddie,” Alexander has over 17 years of experience as a professional makeup artist. She started her career behind the retail makeup counters of Macy’s Herald Square and Sephora. To further her skills, Alexander attended the Makeup Forever Academy of NY where she received her Master Course Certification in Beauty & Fashion, Stage & Artistic, Special Effects, TV/Editorial, and Body Painting in December 2014. Since then, Alexander has worked with companies such as Mac Cosmetics, STILA, Google, People TV, and others. 

The “Soft Girl Revolution” receives criticisms for upholding the patriarchy and erasing all the work of feminism. But to Combs-Sams, Zilerion, and Alexander, living a soft life is about choice. However, on social media apps like TikTok, some women disagree with this. Jasmine Darke, a 24 year old self proclaimed “Tradwife” (traditional wife) said in a video, “I’m teaching my daughter that it is perfectly acceptable to depend on a man.”

The soft girl era isn’t about quitting your job and depending on a man, it’s about taking care of yourself. Zilerion emphasized to not let social media “catfish” you. Zilerion explained that the rules of letting a man handle all the finances or going “50/50” are fake. She said it’s important to “know your person,” or set expectations that are realistic and within your partner's means. 

It’s nice to be taken care of, but the Combs-Sams, Zilerion, and Alexander stressed that it’s all about balance. Zilerion said, “Sometimes I like to call the shots and sometimes I don’t.” A soft life doesn’t mean giving up your career and catering to a man. A soft life means reprioritizing how you maintain self care and your work.